The inner child mystery

Think of it like an onion, a really big one, having lots of layers….adding more layers, simply by living and experiencing feelings and emotions, setting markers for a new layer of that beautiful onion that is you.

If you look at every layer you might remember the feelings you have had in that very moment the marker was set for that layer.

Some may be strangly faint, some hidden so they feel forgotten. Yet they are there, keeping the onion firm, all layers interconnected through the root.

The layers may not all contain beautiful events, feelings or emotions. Some layers may be instead painful, full of fears of abandonment, loneliness, hunger, thirst, abuse…..trauma.

And here the brain of the onion has sometimes an amazing technique to protect itself. It either simply makes the layer invisible, seperates through an invisible wall or creates a coating to tell a different story what happened to make life bearable. 

Here we begin to seperate from layers, age does that too, society and our personal environment as well, and more and more we create many different versions of us in a different space and time, that got nothing to do with who we are today anymore, so we think.

Like an onion field sprout from a single onion in the field of life.

We lose the connection, intentionally or out of necessity, what ever the reason may be…..each onion still got something to say, and the ones on the outer lines which were seperated and ignored, will be louder and louder with time, wanting to be back in the gang or at least feel recognized to be there. And they will find ways to make them heard or seen. They might show up in dreams, in unrelated thought, behavior, psycholgical issues, like emotional distress, fears, anxieties,  psychsomatic sickness, and in so many other ways.

They will be heard one way or the other, and can be ignored continuously, until the onion creates its final layer, or the last onion on the field full of onions. In unison or in separation.

The choice is ours, also depending on how much suffering we can bear.

Because the separation creates suffering. 

A lot in so many cases. Suffering that seems more inviting than a reunion.

The choice to live as an interconnected, plum and united onion, or in an onion field of versions of us can be daunting. Yet also amazingly rewarding as we stand way stronger as a union rather then bunch of single fighters ignoring each other best they can.

So what can we do to invite for a reunion, for integration, for healing of the layers that need healing, to create new layers that recognize the oneness?

In the End…

The onion isn’t broken, it just forgot it’s one.

The layers aren’t failures, they’re memories.

And the field of onions? Maybe it’s not a battleground after all, but a sanctuary where every version of you once tried to protect the core.

Let them come home. One by one.

With time, with truth, and with tenderness.

So maybe here is a path for a homecoming.

Integration Begins with a willingness to feel again

1. Turn Toward, Not Away

You can’t heal what you’re unwilling to feel. The layers we try hardest to avoid, the ones full of shame, fear, grief, hold the keys to deep integration. So the first step is the willingness to look, without the need to fix or judge. This takes courage, and a space where it’s safe to not be okay.

2. Create Inner Dialogue

Each onion layer (or separated self) has a voice. Maybe a 5-year-old you who’s still scared, or a 16 year old who’s angry and rebellious. Let them speak.

Try:

Journaling from the voice of different ages or emotional states. Each layer of you has a story to tell. Listen!

Give the inner children a microphone. And listen more.

Age regression in an NLP or Hypnosis session is a great way to connect, feel and heal.

3. Meet each part with compassion

Compassion is the bridge. That doesn’t mean excusing harmful behaviors these parts may cause, it means understanding why they exist. Behind every fear is a need that wants recognition.

Meet the child as informed adult, not as fixer or judger.

4. Reparenting in Real Time

When a trigger arises, instead of reacting from the wound, pause and say:

“This is not me now. This is a younger me, still hurting. What does he need right now?”

Ask yourself now, and feel what it creates in your body and mind.

Sometimes it’s as simple as presence. Sometimes it’s speaking a sentence they never heard. Sometimes it’s just holding the body differently.

5. Invite Embodiment

Healing is not just a mental or emotional act. Integration needs the body to participate.

Breathwork and Meditation

Movement (even dancing or shaking)

Somatic experiencing

Touch (self-soothing or therapeutic)

These allow the onion layers to soften, communicate, and reunite, not through logic, but through sensation and safety.

6. Create New, aligned layers consciously

Not all growth has to come from suffering. The more you integrate, the more you can create new layers from joy, calm, connection. This is where your conscious self, free of old patterns, gets to write new stories and reinforce the unity.

Ask:

“What would an integrated, whole version of me choose here?”

The answer may surprise you!

7. Ritual and Ceremony

This kind of work often needs symbolic closure. Burn a letter. Plant something. Mark the reunion of parts. Your unconscious mind understands symbols more than lectures.

8. Psychotherapy

The possibilities of healing your inner child are not complete without professional help from those who have dedicated their professional lives to helping you if a path to healing becomes unbearable or seems impossible

Lets-Talk about it!

Namaste 

Stefan